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May 30, 2024

'My fiancé told his family our baby gender before I even knew

A woman was left heartbroken when she'd agreed with her fiancé that he would surprise her with their baby's gender - only to find out he told his family before her Finding out you're expecting a baby

A woman was left heartbroken when she'd agreed with her fiancé that he would surprise her with their baby's gender - only to find out he told his family before her

Finding out you're expecting a baby can be one of the most exciting times as a parent. Whether you decide to find out the gender before the birth, or you wait for the surprise, every couple is different. But one expecting mum was left heartbroken when she agreed her partner would surprise her with the gender - only to find out he'd told his family before her.

Agreeing that they would find out the gender before they shared the news, the couple agreed that the dad-to-be would organise a surprise for his fiancée. But it didn't quite go to plan when she devastatingly found out he'd already told his family before her, leaving her heartbroken.

Knowing it wasn't done maliciously, the devastated mum shared her problem on Reddit, asking others for help as she wrote: "Today, I had my anatomy scan to find out the gender. My fiancé and I had been debating on how to find out the gender. He just wanted to know immediately. I wanted to do a reveal party with close family. I thought a compromise would be if we knew and then surprised everyone else.

"When driving home I thought it might be fun if my fiancé knew and then planned a surprise for me. We had talked in length about us knowing first. He's on board and seems happy with this plan. I leave to run an errand and I come back. We were enjoying spending time with each other when I found out he had told his Mum and Dad. I cannot describe how horrible I feel.

When she realised she wasn't the first to find out, she was left feeling as if the exciting and special moment had been taken away from her. Trying to move past the disappointment, she then found out he had also told his sister too adding to her heartbreak.

She further detailed: "I have never felt so heartbroken and betrayed before. I felt like he took away my choice. I feel that this special moment has been completely ruined. I also hate that his family know and mine doesn't. He had also told his sister which he lied about. I had just told him about my idea to reveal the gender on our honeymoon and do a digital reveal. But now what's the point?

"I guess I just need help finding how to move past the disappointment and sadness I feel. I want to be excited because tomorrow he has something planned to reveal the gender and it's also my bachelorette. But I just can't get past it yet even though I know he wasn't being malicious. Please help!"

People were quick to offer their suggestions, as one Redditor commented: "If it were me I'd probably tell him to cancel whatever he has planned for tomorrow. He messed up bad and you don't have to spend time and energy masking your feelings so he still gets his fake surprise and others get to be happy," whilst another added: "What exactly was his perspective on this? I get letting your excitement take over (still not an excuse) but how do you not at the same time realise this isn't okay and I know it isn't because we explicitly talked about this."

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